Outlandish Claims, Featuring the Meow-O-Meter®

The following are all claims made by Dr. Boyce himself. If we are to believe even half of them, Dr. Boyce is the most storied individual in Patrick County. While I can't tell you what to believe, I merely ask you look at these claims and attempt to discern whether or not you feel like you're dealing with a rational, stable individual capable of providing quality veterinary care to your beloved pet.

To assess these facts, we've come up with a system called the Meow-O-Meter®. Our writers and editors spend considertable time researching and deliberating on our rulings. We always to operate as closely to the source material as possible. When possible, we go to original sources to verify the claims. We interview impartial experts.

We then decide, on a scale of 0 to 10 Meows, how truthful a comment is. I believe our methodology stands on its own four legs.

• Safaried around West Africa 

Meow-O-Meter®: 6.5 Meows, though it is unclear what Boyce would have been doing during this time.

• Safaried around East Africa. 

Meow-O-Meter®: 3.5 Meows, Boyce alleges he lived in Kenya for a time, but records of this are scant

• Participated or conducted medical research in West Africa - with or without apparent licensing to do so. 

Meow-O-Meter®: 1.5 Meows, Boyce could have possibly participated in a clinical trial, but we can't find proof of this, and it's again unclear what Boyce was doing as we failed to find any of his scientific publications.

• Treated a female "Harambe" the gorilla. (Editors note: "Harambe" is a famous male gorilla). 

Meow-O-Meter®: Zero Meows, the claim is absurd and quite strange.

• Married a West African woman.

Meow-O-Meter®: 8 Meows: While we couldn't find any evidence of this, it seems consistent with what we know.

• Had a child with said West African woman.

Meow-O-Meter®: 8 Meows: We failed to find any evidence of child support payments, but this again seems consistent.

• Was charged by elephants.

Meow-O-Meter®: 1 Meow: Again, a very strange claim. It's possible that Boyce witnessed some elephants mock charge or simply charge each other, but elephants are not known to "charge" specific humans unprovoked.

• Wrestled alligators.

Meow-O-Meter®: 2 Meows: While it's true that Lock Boyce's brother has been recorded dangerously wrestling alligators, it seems likely that Lock himself was too skittish to participate.

• Consulted closely with a lawyer ready to rechallenge supreme court precedent ruling "hate speech" as free speech.

Meow-O-Meter®: 0 Meows: It would be very strange to find a lawyer willing to make this claim, consult a lawyer prior to a board hearing, or fail to cite any specifics from this lawyer at all.

• Practiced EMT for at least a decade, wherein his ability to find veins in patients was not hampered by any kind of opacity at any time.

Meow-O-Meter®: Seven Meows: There's no evidence of this, but we're willing to take it on faith.

• Killed a man with his bare hands. 

Meow-O-Meter®: 8 Meows: Lock claims to have been drafted into the military, though there is no evidence he served in a combat role, or that he would have been in the position to kill an enemy like Steven Segal. Other possibilities include extracirccular activity by Lock, either in the US or during his stints in Africa.

• Is being persecuted by "powerful people" in Patrick County for no clear reason.

Meow-O-Meter®: 0 Meows: This claim is, again, quite strange.